Have you ever felt empty?

Kauli · 2024-07-09T01:56:37+00:00

It's just a general feeling that comes back once and a while I don't know, if it is a common thing This one portal OST song really provides the feeling

sanner

its called being a lazy bored person (happens to me all the time)

Kauli

sanner fair

marc

I used to, when I was like sanner said. Now I have problems with dissociation.

light

Yeah. I frequently feel numb and/or empty for long periods.

sanner

Linnart

Not trying to attack or even bash your guys' opinions, as you're allowed to believe whatever you want on such a subjective topic as this, not invalidating that. But do both of you make the distinction between ordinary boredom to malaise, anhedonia and dysphoria in life? Naturally, the next question from someone like me would be: then how is one supposed to feel? I really struggle with recognizing whether this could just be attributed to plain boredom or something deeper. It does not make it any easier when from one hand you're told that it's a very natural state to be in, and on the other hand you see everyone else seemingly going through life with no hardship or obstacles? Maybe it's just naivety coming from as I assume everyone is transparent with their feelings.

Would love both of yours insight into this.

Ross_R

Judging by example, back in my days the word we used for this, uh... condition, so to say, was "apathy", and yes, on ocassion, when the whole life thing gets rather depressive, I do feel like that.

Kauli

Ross_R
Apathy might just be the word
If i knew how to take down discussions i would
Made out of impulse to feel reassured and that people actually have gotten through this (even though it's quite obvious)
yeah, i just wanted to know if it's that common (of course it is)

Linnart

I think it's normal to feel that way. Not every moment in life gives a stimuli or fulfilling feeling. Some days are just filler.

Phantasia

Emptiness comes from a lack of being

Linnart
I think this sums it up. Not every day is going to be packed full of meaningful stimuli.

However, if the feeling is common, I would implore you to explore why.

I know for me, I feel empty because lack of community. I moved to the US 4 years ago and since I've struggled to really have a live that wasn't just working and sitting in my room.
I used to live in Canada and lived in a city with public transit that was, while expensive, still pretty adequate. Everywhere I've lived in America has been car-dependent and I only now in my mid 20s and I considering getting my license so I can have a life again. Though even with that, it's expensive to go out and do a lot of things. Third places where I don't have to spend money to be there don't really exist anymore.

Aevery

Sounds like pretty textbook depression. Does it tend to happen with certain weather or months? Might be seasonal if so.
Apathy, lethargy, finding it hard to care about things or enjoy things you normally like. It's not always there, usually, it comes and goes as the days go by. Does that sound about right?

Kauli

Aevery
Most of the times it's at night or late evening, where i am alone at home. so they kind of come and go .
But i can connect it to the fact i am having my whole week filled to the brim with work and study, it's really draining
Also, Social problems, severe ones in fact, that made my friends start to distance themselves from me, as i started to be left with only work and study.
That just might be the reason.
I can barely go to the store to buy groceries, all my friends seem to somehow hate me? or at least they pretend to like me.
And i've been like this for almost a year or so? sometimes for a couple of months it goes away but then just comes back as worse as the first time.

Aevery

Kauli Honestly, this sounds like depression and maybe even anxiety to me. Sometimes mental illnesses can develop later in life, or worsen.
These sort of struggles, even though they're well documented, are still really hard and terrible to deal with. If you're in a financial state where you can afford it, you should definitely talk to a doctor about it and ask about medication. Therapy plus medication is even better (if you can find an actually decent therapist) but is really expensive. I personally took magic mushrooms and, now, take mescaline for my depression and anxiety. Legally I cannot recommend those but if doctors aren't an option for some reason, yeah.
I couldn't diagnose you from a few posts obviously even if I were a doctor but, definitely look into these sort of things.

Kauli

Aevery
And that's some advice!
Gold star of approval

Lumeinshin

It's a tough thing to describe and assign a cause.
I try to think of it as being because I'm not doing anything fulfilling. I used to get it a lot before I worked on some more productive subjective ofc things.
Probably also doesn't help that a lot of our diets are basically made to make us feel apathetic and unwell generally. Really not to mention the impact social media and the constant manipulating of our brains to look at ads, scroll forever etc on social media.. Fun times we live in 😆

Ross_R

Lumeinshin Probably also doesn't help that a lot of our diets are basically made to make us feel apathetic and unwell generally.

Conspiracy talk? Sounds like conspiracy talk. I like that kind of talk.
Can you elaborate what kinds of food specifically throw us into apathy?

Lumeinshin

Ross_R
It's all the usual suspects lol
Incentives to make cheap food, prioritising taste over health. Abusing our lizard brain desire for sugar. Gov deals regarding corn and cheese.. and so on
Depends on the country too but that should give you the gist. Not to mention that a lot of us just disregard what we should be eating over what we want (me included)

gingermilk I'd never heard of that, very interesting

gingermilk

Search up anhedonia. This is the main reason I have been drifting away from the internet for a long time since I have no motivation, energy, or even the slightest interest in engaging in any activity that is not essential to basically keeping myself alive. It is indeed taxing on your social relationships as you have described and I can definitely relate. I am way too apathetic to the things people talk about, so I always have absolutely nothing to contribute to the conversation and that is how isolation starts.

Ross_R

gingermilk Search up anhedonia.

Oh, this is really interesting you've mentioned that. I did a small research about a year ago when I was writing my only english short story, in which a main character goes rather quickly from anhedonia to full catatonic stupor.
I really wonder just how... horrific? Well, not quite horrific, but more rather sad it is for the mind to abandon the body completely. If anything I now know that for decades stupor has been considered a schizophrenic disorder. However, relatively latest researches like this one - https://academic.oup.com/schizophreniabulletin/article/36/2/314/1899222?login=false - actually admit that catatonia is more often a consequence of a severe mania or despression, and that modern medicine's refusal to admit this fact globally leads to incorrect treatments which often only worsen the situation.
Shame that there are not many researches about the topic to start with.

Lumeinshin Abusing our lizard brain desire for sugar.

But I like sugar : (
Interesting enough though, as of lately I've started to cut down on it. Not intentionally, mind you - simply... subconciously. Like, one day I just thought: you know, I don't really want sugar in my tea today - and than it continued.
I'm not sure what I can attribute it to. If anything, it happened after several years of sticking to brown, unrefined natural sugar rather than the regular white one.
I still have a huge sweet tooth for cookies, chocolate, whatever - it's just back in the days I used to grab a tea with sugar to top my chocolate. So, well, no more of that.

gingermilk

Ross_R It really makes you wonder about the boundary between mental illness symptoms that deserves research and just the general "life be like that bro just stop whining and cope like the rest of us" response. Psychology is still a relatively new field, even more so for neuroscience which can potentially lead us to a more precise biological approach. I have heard too many horror stories on incorrect treatments carelessly given out in the psychiatrist industry.

sanner

light i was sort of just cracking a joke light.

to address your question: the ideal way you should be feeling is not really perceptible. while the extremes may be bliss or sorrow, you would be so exhausted from feeling these emotions for long periods of time. so, in summary, i suppose the way you should feel should be a way that expends the least amount of energy. basically, if you're not thinking or conscious about the way you are currently feeling, you are probably feeling the right way. i think it means you are at peace.

towards your other comment; people definitely are not as transparent as they may appear. being bored is very normal and, in fact, very good. anhedonia or malaise on the other hand is not. when people say

it's a very natural state

i don't think they are talking about (or understand) the same feeling that you are, well, feeling. can you explain the sort of emptiness you feel?

Ross_R

gingermilk the boundary between mental illness symptoms that deserves research and just the general "life be like that bro just stop whining and cope like the rest of us" response.

Is there really a boundary though? I mean, "life be like that" is precisely what causes mental illness every now and then. Some people just do not have mental fortitude to cope with all the horrors, annoyances and depressive things. And neither should they, IMO. Not everyone should be made of stone, with a blood as cold as a snake's. We need gentle romantics and dreamers, who, perhaps, cannot always cope with everything that goes on.
So, the point is, like, "life be like that bro just stop whining" is in itself is rather incorrect approach. I mean, it is not completely useless, but... I guess, the real boundary is to learn where you have to stop "coping like the rest" and actually start a treatment or something...
Something along those lines. I'm still bad at expressing myself, apparently.

alpha_vision

Numerous times. NUMEROUS times

gingermilk

Phantasia This is relatable since I moved from a city in another country to a suburb in the US as well. The typical American suburb with its copy-paste architecture, clustered chain stores, lack of sidewalks, lack of neighbors in proximity, and heavy dependence upon cars forms a depressive atmosphere that makes you feel trapped. But once you are able to join the community, the feeling of isolation fades a little bit.

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