/csig/ : comfy self improvement general

theo

Heyo 🙂)

I'm still pretty new here but I was hoping to start a comfy thread for people that are working on life stuff together. Thought it might be nice to find some other people and talk about goals we have for things like studying, work, fitness, projects, productivity, social stuff, long term plans etc - hoping it'll be good for accountability and support and stuff

Will try the below format and see how it goes

What are your top three goals at the moment, and why have you set them for yourself?

I definitely have more than three goals at the moment but the most important ones are:

pass my security+ exam and get an infosec job
fix my sleep schedule and daily routine
get fitter and healthier so I feel better about myself

I felt super shitty after a month or so after leaving my job, felt pretty depressed and unmotivated, unironically felt like things were over for me lol. I ended up just kind of spamming vidya all the time and getting less and less used to going outside and seeing other people, and I felt physically trash because I was eating slop and barely sleeping. Last week I had a gross panic attack about it all and was like "wtf am i doing bruh" and decided to make some sort of plan.

My goals to get a qualification for a better job is to get money moving in, and also build on my previous career in IT - it's probably not what I'm most passionate about but the jobs pay well and I know I can do it. It's hard to focus on other stuff that makes you happy when you're running out of money anyway so, gotta be done haha - with money and a steady job I can lock in other important stuff for my real passions. It also keep up the masquerade of being a normal human being so my gf and family don't send me to an orphanage or the circus

I'm working on things like sleep and health and fitness because I've felt shit recently physically - like, really unfit, sore and tight and crackly from calcifying at my desk all the time. I looked worse than I used to as well, which isn't a great mystery but I'd still like to feel healthier and more capable and energetic in general, it feels horrendous waking up tired and having 0 energy then looking in the mirror and going "yikes"

How are you pursuing your goals?

I made a giga google doc project thing to start tracking loads of stuff - it's kind of autistic and messy but I'm hoping over time I'll build up on that so I can just generate goals for every day automatically and tiny tasks that autopopulate. Atm it's just manual sheets and documents and course notes etc, but yeah, using that as a way to organise and track stuff.

For my job qualification I'm studying every day - you'd think it wouldnt' be that hard to motivate yourself when everey day is "free" but I'm a bit of a shitter and love to procrastinate. I'm more serious about it now and so I've set a learning goal for every day and so far I've been sticking to it (somehow??). I'm gonna book the exam this week and set a date I think. My plan lasts about a month so sometime in June probably.

For the health and sleep stuff: I'm eating way less and also eating way healthier. I'm thinking about doing meal prep and having a proper look at nutrition and stuff but for the moment, eating less, eating better stuff should be fine. I'm also taking melatonin to help me sleep around 8pm. Then I ban myself from screens other than my kindle at 9pm. This is very sad. I used to fall asleep watching youtube in bed until 3am so this is a jarring change for me and it makes my brain shrivel and cry for dopamine

Excercise / fitness is my other big goal: I have physio I need to do, stretching, strengthening - I fucked up my knee years ago and stopped being that active and now I'm all tight and fucky. This one is hard to make msyelf do because it fucking hurts and it's embarassing but, it's probably even more important than the work thing. My cardio is abysmal and I'm pretty weak atm. I've been strongish before when I lifted weights but that was years ago - I'd like to get back on top of all of that. Still working on it.

Are you looking for encouragement and advice or are you just looking to use the thread as a way to post your progress publicly for accountability?

Will post for accountability but also happy to speak and hear from other people, I reckon this stuff'll be much easier with other people to bounce off of 🙂) Feel free to hit me with reccomendations and stuff

Lumeinshin

theo
I try not to give myself too many tasks to do/goals, in an attempt to finish some that I have already had.
I have found though that a little book with a date, letter header and a checkbox. I have a little card key that slots into it and I just tick what i've done that day.
I'm trying to keep expectations low and not pressure myself much but just seeing boxes unchecked is enough to give me some motivation to do more things, ie read more or exercise. Stuff like that
I'm also generally just trying to look after my health more, in ways as simple as actually wearing some suncream when the sun is out and scorching.. lol

smirkosantana It can be a little hard to do if you arent used to just sleeping when you go to bed. I've heard that not having the electronics in the room, swapping to reading a book or something can help and overtime it would associate sleep with either reading or sleeping ONLY. I don't really though and tend to have something screen related as partt of my routine.

I have found though as i've gotten older that sleep comes more naturally, so you may find that just being busier during the day and heading to bed when you're tired helps.
I find that i'm finally sleeping at a more sensible time now, as opposed to the 3-4am I used to do... mostly

smirkosantana

How do you fall asleep without YouTube?

Merulox

smirkosantana Do you like to read? E-readers with yellow backlight are a godsent.

fish oil

The security industry is fucking raped right now, especially for newcomers. I have my Net+/Sec+ and have placed at multiple national competitions and still get rejected for basic IT internships. Hopefully it'll blow over in a few years but don't go into this thinking you can just get your Sec+ and it'll be smooth sailing. I highly suggest you specialize as soon as possible. If you want to be a penetration tester, just do the TCM Security PNPT and then the HackTheBox Certified Penetration Tester pathway, genuinely the most straightforward way to become a l33t hax0r as fast as possible. Can do the same for blue teaming, honestly HackTheBox academy is the absolute best bang for your buck when it comes to pure technical skill- they aren't popular amongst HR retards yet but that'll change in a few years

Merulox

Here's my take on self-improvement

Obsessing over specific things (e.g. test levels, nofap, social media detox, tracking macros, fitness science, sleep, cold showers, supplements, etc.) is very overwhelming, confusing, and hard to navigate.

Really, just

eat good (don't obsess over what defines good food or your macros: eat what grandma told you to eat and you'll be fine)
work out a little (don't stress out over what workouts to do and don't read 10 studies to compare 2 exercises-- just do what you like best with a bit of logic and you'll be fine. Do prioritize good form though.)
get good sleep. Buying an e-reader solved all my problems. Hopefully you like to read; if not, all the advice you'll hear or read online is good, so just try your best.

4chan, Youtube, and TikTok's self-improvement memes have confused a whole generation but life isn't as complicated as those gurus make it seem. You don't need to read 10 studies delving into this new viral lifestyle habit that'll help you become happier-- just remember what your mom or grandma told you when you were a child and you. will. be. fine.

The self-improvement movement is what helped me kickstart my journey to well-being but it's a sphere of the internet that I despise.

I have been going to the gym without fail for 9 months, taking cold showers every morning for a year (due to skin issues), am on month 11 of nofap, and I believe that going that far is pointless. I only do it because I like it.

frijole del alta

Merulox eat good

this is really true, poor food habits can really hurt health. a good balanced diet and water especially.

Merulox work out a little

something I need to do more of, really does help keep blood pressure at bay.

Merulox get good sleep

from personal experience, sleep really does determine our health. I'm kind of an insomniac so what helped me the best was wait until I feel tired and then sleep right away. I've never tried reading before bed but sounds like great advice, I know some people recommend fog machines or the rain sounds.

ZinUru

Merulox I agree about eating well, working out a little and getting enough sleep.
I think that's good for taking care of the body and getting the happiness hormones flowing so that you can feel good throight your life and have a healthy body.

But there's quite a few things that are important to other aspects of general human flourishing that can help a lot when you want to improve your life.

For example, not only does getting sunshine improve your sleep, but also it makes you happier, and saner. Go outside and watch the sky. If the sun is there, great. If it's night time, great, you can look at the stars or the moon. If it's cloudy, look for shapes in the clouds.
But while you're outside, there's plenty to do that doesn't involve other people. You can sit under a tree for a while, you can pick up and look at natural objects, you can even learn foraging if you like. I've lost count of how many times I've spontaneously burst into laughter while alone in nature.

Then there's getting a social life. That might well happen naturally if you are healthy and happy in yourself and take care of yourself. Build it and they will come, as they say. But why wait? Without forcing yourself, just ask yourself if you feel friendly towards people you wouldn't normally talk to and se if you feel like going up to the. For some people this is harder than others, but simply forming the intention to work on it goes a long way. Developing a friendly attitude towards other people is a big step.

Also, I would like to mention the importance of spirituality in human life. Everybody feels a source of meaning, it's inherent to our condition. If you are a nihilist, contemplate the void. If you are curious about God, try praying. If you are neutral and don't feel much of a push or pull in any direction, meditate. It's so easy once you start. Quite often, people come out of the first experience thinking "hey that was great, I want to do that more often".

Finally, we can't underestimate the value of a good book. Something you can really get into, something which opens your mind to something enchanting. A great poem or piece of fiction can inspire, uplift, bring you to emotional highs and lows, and bring imagination into full displays of colour! A good non-fiction book can open you up go the beauty and mystery of the world, and teach you things you never knew. A good spiritual text can change your perspective on life completely. Don't underestimate serious reading. You do plenty of it just browing various websites. Maybe it's a good idea to open that up to texts written by the greatest minds humanity has produced?

harukoto

i'm just working on staying fit and fighting my procrastinations. trying to eat better generally as well as i consume a lot of pizza and other fast food pretty often, so i guess that also ties into controlling my spending better. as saving money for everyone is usually connected to some kind of goal. for me that is moving. i try to draw as often as i can but lately i always end up thinking i'll get around to it after work or before work but i always end up being distracted. gaming, listening to music or just fucking off to a different room to listen to music there. i get my tablet set up and everything and just keep putting it off. i'd say i need to work on that the most. i'm a fit person and exercise every day. i WANT to draw. i have ideas in mind. not sure what stops me. but definitely my bigger problem or next to that is the spending money on fast food. it's just way too easy to order some food every night after work or something. and the days i need to go out to the store i force myself to buy vegetables. i do use them and it keeps me alive.
but... it's so easy to order some chicken or something, and i say it's not bad if i just got paid and only order out this once .. and end up binging, ordering food every couple days. i've gotten a lot better but there's still an issue i won't deny.

sonoko

Trying to cut down on bad internet use. I think the internet is great, but sites like 4chan, reddit, twitter and so on where you just mindlessly scroll are certainly bad all round. That's why I value sites like this so much.

Lumeinshin

I've adapted my little activity tracking notebook and sewn it together with another leather holder to make a big megazword of sub-a5 notebook holding power. So i've got the tracker in the middle and two more inside. One i'm dedicating to cool ideas for web services and things related to that and the other currently just has a shopping list from the other day. I'm thinking of what to use it for but I can always replace the books with any of those small moleskine cashiers or equivalent whenever.

This has helped me stick to the tracking, partially I think because I spent a good bit of time "making" it, so there is more of my ego attached in a way. So it may help some of you to put a bit of work in some way to make any kind of journaling you do more personal and worthwhile in that way. I'm sure just decorating pages wouldve also done the job but i'm chuffed with my little notebook now. (Yes I could've just bought one of those 'notebook system' things, but I didnt know they existed and this is from stuff I already had)

sonoko

Lumeinshin This sounds really cool, I should give it a go.

ig

ZinUru agreed, books help alot. I've also had plenty of good times reading in nature. Whilst I dont think lifting weights will necessarily help, practicing any sport will. Swimming, cycling and running makes me unusually happy on a bad day. Also, talking to someone.

ZinUru

ig
Lifting weights is great! Especially if you have gymbros. I even had a dream night before last where I was in a gym with some super fit people and they were all really friendly. My last thought as I was waking up was "the gym is heaven!"

Lumeinshin

Something I think is not a huge thing but will probably help a lot (also something I need to do more) is remember what good times you live in. Even if things don't always sound like theyre heading in the best direction, you still have access to insane resources and good health. With any of the other tips given in the thread, and a little bit of care, you can live long healthy lives compared to just 100 years ago.
You could write down a list of things you're grateful for in your life. Maybe that's something I will do in future.
The truly shocking thing about positive affirmations is that surrounding yourself with some will help.. but you will figure out that you will LIVE, LAUGH and LOVE 🤫

ig

Lumeinshin frfr no cap ong

music liker

I can never keep my specific goals, so I always try to take things a day at a time. I'm not sure if that makes me lazy or not. What would you all say?

Lumeinshin

music liker It's always hard to keep to your goals, laziness is something you prescribe to yourself or others call you.
It can't be good to think of yourself as lazy. It might be one of those thing that you reinforce when you do.
A small nudge in a better direction might be to take things a day at a time, but set your goals within that, ie "do one of five things today: exercise, writing, etc"

sanner

music liker This can be a double edged sword, but even when you aren't particularly searching for one, your goals and aspirations might just... apparate. No, this isn't a free pass to do nothing, the opposite is true. This isn't a life guide but it's what's helped me so...

The story goes: I used to feel similar to how you describe yourself. I thought of myself as a lazy and boring person and i didn't really have any specific goals or dreams. Then, a little over a year ago i just woke up and felt this motivation inside of me. It was very sudden, but i just felt very interested in the world around me and what i'd like to do and where i'd like to go. Maybe that's just part of life? But enough about me, how does this apply to you.

basically my advice is: Go out and experience the people who inhabit this world. Don't be so concerned about your goals right now. And ask lots of questions, be curious. If you're lucky enough to still be in schooling ,talk to your professors, they are some of the greatest tools you have. It doesn't matter about what you talk to them about, their daily lives, past spouses, books they like, etc. but try and listen to what they're saying. Do the same with anyone who has the time. Then think about what they are saying. Think about it when you're in the shower or driving to work or whenever you have a moment.

The other day i found out my neighbor used to be a Judge who worked for the government, i see her all the time but i guess i never cared to ask. I wonder what decisions she's had to make, and if she finds it difficult to sleep at night because she made the wrong choice and she knows it. The point is, there are a million people to meet with a million stories to hear, and every single one of them has the chance to inspire your goals or to change your life. The world is quite literally your oyster. Sometimes you have to pry to get what you want out, but if you keep being curious, the change you've been looking for might just be handed right to you.

music liker

sanner
That's inspiring. I think I'll start taking more of an interest in the world around me.

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