I'm an internet addict, I've been one ever since I was a kid, since the day I found it. Ramble incoming.
For the sake of context, I'm 20 years old, there was no internet at home until I was about 8 years old, and it was still extremely slow. When I was a kid, I was a tech addict, I loved the aesthetics of the beautiful home and portable media players sold at my local Sony store, I loved technology, I loved (non smart) phones... It was just the thing I was into.
When we got internet installed on our home, I would visit club penguin and play very often, almost every afternoon after school. I also played the wii and the DS a lot, so I was no stranger to tech. Fast forward to my mid teens, and I got into a networking and software school. Fast forward to the start of 2023, and I noticed that... I've been wasting my life on the net! I have friends, sure. Good friends. I'm not extremely bored but... What am I even doing?
All I do is come back home, stay on the computer, and sleep.
I also used to scroll through tiktok, or instagram, or reddit, or whatever, ALL THE TIME. At least I got some basic photoshop skills, video editing skills, and some more shitty creative skills out of exploring in my teen years, but if it wasn't for them, I'd be a huge pile of nothing!
I'm trying to change my ways now. I got rid of tiktok, best decision ever. I restricted my instagram time strictly, and stopped depending on my phone for easy dopamine. Now I don't browse when I'm outside, like at all. My phone is literally used for whatsapp, phone calls, the calendar, email and music/podcasts. As for my online activity on the computer, I prefer smaller forums or groups (like this one!) than huge centralized social media. I don't feel as exposed here, I'd rather have a small group that I trust than a stage where either no one or the whole world will be listening, just to bring the hate on.
As I mentioned in another thread a while ago, last summer possibly (haven't been active since then), I've been "trying to learn an instrument". I'll accept defeat, I haven't been progressing a lot with my guitar, nor with my piano. Though I've been mostly occupied with engineering maths, I really should start changing my ways again.
I'm trying to go from internet addict to someone who only uses it at home, on the computer, as it should be. And I want to spend my 20s wisely, with a proper routine (uni, exercise, skills, relationships...).
Many people don't recognize it, but we all are internet addicts, some more than others. Some stay on the "clear" side. Mainstream apps, like tiktok and facebook. Some others dig into the rabbit hole, enter twitter, reddit, 4chan... And we all spend so many hours here. It's fucked up. Everyone's seeking their free dose of dopamine, and I'm afraid that I'm seeing this trend growing in the next generation, where they're practically born with youtube shorts/tiktok/ig reels and a device to watch them on.
Is this the end of the computer era? Will phones follow us everywhere from now on? Are we expected to be even more connected than we are? I don't want to live like that, I feel like an old man saying it.
I used to be the kid that said "nah, I'm not addicted" when they told me that I was. I was incredibly wrong. I have so many regrets, both in my online activity and usage. I was addicted, I am addicted, and I don't want it to be this way. I used to be soulless. My hobbies? didn't have any, but liked tech. What the fuck is wrong with me? Who even am I anymore?
What does the future hold for all of us? Is there any hope for someone who wants to stop living online? Guess I'll eventually find out. I just need to take care of myself, and try harder.
Don't be like me, y'all. It's not too late to change (y)our ways.