Speaking to strangers

Maine

What do you all think of it? I personally love speaking to strangers, but I've seen a lot of people consider it disruptive. I try to speak to a few on commute every time. Do any of you find it easier to speak to strangers over long term acquaintances? Find it a lot easier to speak what's on my mind with them, and to get to know them.

Somnolence

I try to avoid striking up conversation with random people because I feel it would probably be disruptive in most cases. It can feel jarring, and like an invasion of privacy when someone just starts chatting away. I figure most people that do that now are old ladies, or otherwise drunk.
That said, society is really atomising these days, and so talking to randos might help break feeling of isolation and apathy- at least for yourself.

Maine

Somnolence Never thought people would see you as intoxicated, but it doesn't sound wrong. You think strangers getting to know each other out of the blue happens most in parks compared to when walking every once a while?

Aero

I'd like to do it more. Last time I tried, I upset my barber by calling the guy on the radio Michael Jackson and she went off on how he was different and about how much she HATED him after he became white.

Don't piss off the person with a blade to your throat

Maine

Aero That sounds funny! Did she go on tirades about it later on? One mistake I made once was talking to my barber while only realizing that they charge extra for small improvements.

Aero

Maine
no, that was the last time she cut my hair. Your barber sounds scuffed if they grub money over tiny adjustments

agoraoptera

In theory, I'd like for this to be a more common thing. In practice, I think most of the time I would first suspect that the person is a scammer trying to get something out of me, or is just nuts.
It's really unfortunate...

Ross_R

I feel for me it's a number of factors. First, I do not like other humans much to start with. Then, I'm also rather shy, and speaking with strangers requires and amount of confidence that I think I do not possess. Even among the people I know, it is hard for me to start something, since I always feel like I would be interfering with something. Always thought that if people would want something out of me, they will ask for it themselves.
That's how I became a loner, and, frankly, by now I'm already quite used to it, which doesn't help the situation. There's also this matter that I had a lot of unpleasant encounters with strangers too, so, yea...
One would think - and it sounds logically - that if I don't like other people much, I shouldn't care about their feelings too, but something there doesn't work like that for whatever reason. I gotta say though that I'm trying to change it, so as of recent I actually started to throw a phrase or two to strangers, as well as be more insistent around the people I know.
Like, throwing a random dude a compliment regarding his getup or something - it feels right. I hate that most people dress in shades of black and grey, so when I see someone else wearing something bright, saying something along the lines of "cool jacket, dude"... well, yes, it feels right.
Or some other day I saw a lassie getting out of driving ed's car, so I asked her how's it going and if she learns automatic or manual.
Stuff like that, yes. I try to get into it recently, just to make myself more confident, since I think that part of me could use a boost.

agoraoptera most of the time I would first suspect that the person is a scammer trying to get something out of me, or is just nuts.

Maybe I'm wrong, but I feel like this is the case for most people. This world is so oriented on the whole hustle-money-success routine, that, I think, people automatically think you want something out of them if you talk to them out of nowhere. I know I would be very suspicious if someone would've been nice to me out of sudden for more than couple of seconds.
Sad stuff, but it is how it is.

agoraoptera

Ross_R One would think - and it sounds logically - that if I don't like other people much, I shouldn't care about their feelings too, but something there doesn't work like that for whatever reason.

End of the day, we're still social creatures, even if we are not very fond of said social elements. Nice to hear you're boosting your confidence!

@Maine Piggybacking on this thread since I saw your profile comment but can't figure out PMs. Add me on discord, same name as this account.

Fimm

As the Good Book says: If I don't want to be disturbed in public, I assume nobody else would like to be either.

Aero

Fimm
But not everyone is like you

Nah

I enjoy speaking to strangers but whether or not said strangers will appreciate you starting a conversation depends on the country. It's completely different between customs in the United States or Russia.

What's more interesting is how easy it is to "do as the Romans do" with the customs of speaking to strangers. In some countries, I'm fine with someone talking to me. But in other countries, I'm expecting to be scammed or at best sold something.

praskova

I can't start a conversation with a stranger just like that. I am a lot more quiet irl and it's even hard to engage in a conversation with some people I see on a daily basis (like my coworkers). I guess it is harder for me to get comfortable around new people and that's why it's kinda hard for me to socialize more with people. And since most of my friends moved out of the city I get to see them a lot more rarely now

Ayayaya

I enjoy it a lot the moment I get the excuse to start one, but I would never ever strike on up for no reason.

Basically,
Elevator ride with a stranger: Silence
Elevator ride with a stranger, but there's some thread of conversation for some reason: I do smalltalk (i,e, a coworker going to the same floor or something inane like that)

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