magicrabbit
I have talents, but I do not feel happy about them, thinking about how they are considered helpful to the modern world does nothing but upset me, and knowing I will not survive doing the things I feel happy doing does nothing to motivate me.
i completely get what you mean here. i earned my associates in compsci but went on to get a degree in animation despite knowing the instability regarding careers in that industry… and this isn’t me necessarily trying to make this about myself, but simply to relate to the situation you’re describing. a lot of pursuing one’s talents is completely circumstantial and luck-based, really, and it’s really not at all fair but there does genuinely come a point where you have to prioritize your passions above your theoretical income otherwise, i guess. too many people suffer for the rest of their lives because they choose to pursue money rather than something they’d be genuinely gratified doing. i have always been of the belief that your impact on the world to any degree is more relevant than your net worth
Are you capable of being fulfilled by simply working hard enough towards what makes you happy? Have you given up these inner desires in order to continue living?
yes, i am. i think you are, too. it’s incredibly easy to gain a doomer its-over mindset about stuff like this but it’s completely true. if you have talent, and you work your ass off towards harnessing that, success will find you, and this isn’t a hugbox mindset, it’s just true. i’ve known many a narcissist with very real and feasible talent who had real opportunities that they squandered because they felt above it. i knew a professional violinist who did work for waldorf, school of rock, a few larger bluegrass bands, etc. and really could’ve made a real impact and career out of it, but he didn’t. he had real compositional skill and opportunities found him and he squandered them. and now he is not doing music professionally. it’s very sad to me. the worst thing you could do for yourself is allow that potential to be squandered; there will always be a niche for you.
my genuine advice is the best thing you can do for yourself is to find an audience for your passions. i can assure you, it’s not over.
PS i will say to this that i’m not necessarily a beneficiary of nepotism or whatever and i’m only saying that because a lot of people assume that when i say shit like this, i work a fast food job on the west coast… the reason i am doing well in this regard is because i got super autistic about it and made some real connections on my own time and invested all my time into diversifying my portfolio instead of, say, making friends, or getting laid or something like that. lol. but it is possible.
